MY 51ST ARTICLE IS HERE.

 

"Khadijat, what on earth is this?"

Those were the words of a client who requested for a proposal letter, but to whom an untallied essay was delivered to- I wrote an unrelated essay!

You should ask for what went wrong.

I had received a phone call from Mr. Obi( pseudonym for the client) after the new year festivities, and after about fifteen(15) minutes of our virtual conversation of which all I could recollect uttering were, "yes", "well", "okay", the call ended.

The beginning of the year was quite cloudy. I had a lot on my table, yet my mental health was slowly draining- almost running out to about 1%. Mr. Obi was referred to me by a friend. However, unfortunately, I had just finished crying an ocean when his call came in. Not only was I empty-minded during the course of the conversation, I was also frustrated and could not wait to press the "red button". 

When I was finally able to grab my pen, I made a GUESS at what he wanted. Hence, the reason for the unprofessional work I delivered. Although Mr. Obi gave another synopsis of the job after which I turned in an almost perfect work, I still chide myself for accepting the gig in the first place. I was too mentally unstable for it.

Dear reader, like I had clearly mentioned, the year started on a not-so-beautiful note that I found myself slowly shrinking; I was preparing for my first semester examination, yet I couldn't fathom why I was in school. I wrote sad mails to myself. Skincare? Although I am not a skincare enthusiast, the natural oil that seeps to the surface of my skin dried out, however, I did not fret about it. I denied myself healthy food and peaceful sleep. I worked myself out each day. And although, I had no one chasing me, I kept running each day. The whole situation could be described as the beginning of my end. Or what could have made a human get so lost in the middle of a BUSINESS conversation?

Now, it is almost two months since the occurrence, and one thing I wish I knew then is that I MATTER. Rather than prioritizing myself, I kept dipping myself in a ditch that shrank me. I punished myself for a sin I did not commit. I totally forgot that I am human, and worked myself out like some AI. I placed my aspirations before my well-being. I tried to cheat nature, it however fought for its superiority.

Dear reader, I know there are millions of occurrences that could muddle up a sane mind, but remember...YOU MATTER! And except that blood ceases to flow within you, each day would bring forth reasons to scream and bite one's lips hard and end it. However, remember...YOU MATTER!

Take time to unwind. Take a break if needed. Speak to whoever you can. Do ALL you can to keep sane. Remember, you are too human to keep acting like everything is fine when obviously NOTHING is. Also, remember to talk to God.

May we find the peace and happiness and fulfilment we crave.

Till I write to you again,

Stay safe and sane.❤️

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